Thoughts: I Need Sex…

I wrote these thoughts down a few years ago, after my ex and I first separated. I wrote it as an imaginary letter to my first post-divorce lover. It’s probably one of the raciest things that I have ever written, and more so because unlike other poems or thoughts that I’ve written about sex; these are my 100% unfiltered, unedited, straight out of my head thoughts and my desires. As a pretty devout Christian, it can be hard to go from a wonderful, passionate, steamy married sex life to the troubled marriage unfulfilling sex life, and then to the prospect of being single with no sex on the horizon. All those desires, don’t just magically evaporate (which led to part of the problem in the Hot Mess Alert) so what do you do with them? For me I wrote them down, to stop them from fueling the tornado that was swirling around in my head, and now I’m sharing them with you…

All humans have needs. Some are very basic and others are not. ME? I need sex. And not just any old wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am sex. I need hot, passionate, hair-pulling, clothes-ripping, button popping, slam you up against the wall sex. You know what else I need? I need more sex.

I need slow, steamy, intimate, stare into your eyes and run my fingers through your hair sex. I need the back of my neck kissed. I need to your hand to gently slide down the length of my thigh. I need you to cup my chin in your hands and to gently kiss me on the mouth. I need you to look at me like something you can’t wait to devour.

I need intimacy. I need to be held, touched, caressed and talked to. I need to feel safe and protected in your arms. I need to feel like you care about me when I give you a hug. I don’t necessarily need to fall in love, but I do need to feel cared for. It’s been way too long since I felt cared for. And if at the bare minimum, I don’t even feel cared for, then you can damn well be sure that my needs aren’t being met. And if my needs aren’t being met, then I need to make other arrangements.

And I will; because I need my hair pulled, my clothes ripped, my buttons popped and I damn sure need to be slammed up against the wall. Then afterwards, we can go again and this time we’ll stare into each others eyes, and run our fingers through each other’s hair, and you’ll cup my chin and kiss me gently on the lips, and run your hands down my thighs.

Because you see, once I can trust that you’ll take care of my needs, we can move on to your wants and baby I’ll do anything you want…